Say I succeed and lose the weight I want to lose. Then what?
Will my skin ever be tight enough? My stomach flat enough? Will the loss of the 2 inches that I've had in height since my accident continue to bother me? Will I ever be able to keep the sun spots off my face for good? Will my arms ever be strong enough?
The change that hasn't happened yet is the one in my head. The one that tells me, regardless of how my outside is shaping up, that it's not as good as. That it's not good enough. I say I want to be healthy. What I hear in my head is, I want to be perfect. But I'm finally realizing that's an unattainable goal. Not because I couldn't get into the picture of health at a weight good for my height and age, but because it's not possible in my own head. And I'm not alone.
How sad is that?