Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Energy of Time

As I get older, time seems to have sped up.  I remember as a kid the amount of time between one Christmas and the next seemed to take foooorrreeevvvveerrrrr.  Now, I've hardly finished paying of last Christmas when it's time to start shopping again!  I have a theory that it isn't just my perspective of time that's changed (like everyone tells you: as you get older and gain more experience, your perception of time changes).  When my kids were little, even they would be shocked at how quickly one Christmas came on the heels of the last.

So it's not just me.

Four days ago I was sitting at this desk quite convinced that time had stopped altogether.  It was 2:33 pm.  On Friday.  Before a three-day weekend.  The sun was out, the birds were pooping on my car...and the last place I wanted to be was in here: sitting at my desk.  The weekend was full of all the things that make an adult weekend fun: time spent with your favorite person, hanging out with friends, drinks on the patio, travel, relaxation, late nights and late mornings, and did I mention drinks on the patio?  It was almost perfectly the perfect weekend.

And it flew by.

So now, here I am sitting at my desk again.  It's Tuesday, 11:25 a.m., and time has, once again, stopped.  I was talking to a coworker this morning about how energy and time are perceived so differently depending on your location and what you happen to be doing.  Time to me, while at work, goes pretty slowly even if I'm busy.  Time at home, no matter what I'm doing, speed's like crazy, whether I'm doing something I love or doing the dishes.

What's up with that?

As I get older, I notice that I'm rushing my weeks to get to the weekend which, no matter what we do, always seems to be FUN.  But that's two days a week.  One-hundred-and-four days of my year.  That's a lot of time in between those weekends that I'm rushing, and it's probably not the best thing to do considering now that I'm in my mid-40's, I only have half of my life left!

Rushing any of it is sort of a bad idea, don't you think?

I've neglected a lot of things working as much as I do.  One thing that I probably need to get back into is meditation and working on my perception of time and how it relates to the energy I have with which to spend it.  How does on make every minute count?  Enjoy each day as it presents itself?  Sometimes work is drudgery.  A 9-hour day (counting lunch) that drags by as you repetitively do the same actions over and over and over again until you've done them so much, you do them without thinking?  Just like sometimes you're on your way to work in the morning, you leave your house, and then - it seems almost suddenly!- you're at work with almost no memory of how you got there!

Autopilot.  Scary.

I'm open to suggestions.  I don't want to waste the majority of my life, that part spent at work, wishing it away to the weekend.  I just don't know how.  I mean, I guess you can find a job that pays you to do what you love so then you're not ever really working, but that doesn't seem to be the reality of things for the overwhelming majority, me included!  I love my jobs.  I've had SO much worse!  But I love doing nothing more.  No, that doesn't' make me unique.  But it does give me guilt that the other 5 days of the week are all about getting to the two golden ones...

I need to stop this.